Mom In Politics Gets Shamed For Flex Schedule, Writes Perfect Response

Mom In Politics Gets Shamed For Flex Schedule, Writes Perfect Response Sometimes it seems like you just cant win as a working mom. If you decide to go on maternity leave, youre seen as less competent and committed at work. On the flip side, if you dont take maternity leave, youre judged to be a worse parent, a less desirable partner and a less caring person.So flexible work arrangements should be a perfect solution. Moms who manage to squeeze both baby and work into a busy day should be seen as superherbeioes, right? Not quite.Take, for example, the case of former New Zealand lawmaker Holly Walker. Three months after returning to work from maternity leave, she hosted a drop-in clinic for her constituents in the city of Petone, since Parliament welchesnt in session. When it was over, she met up with her husband and baby daughter, fed her and took her for a walk around the park.It was a beautiful day, and I felt a rare sense of ease and wellbeing, so I took a picture and tweeted it, sa ying something like What a perfect Petone day, she recalls in her new book, The Whole Intimate Mess.Even in todays era of carefully calibrated political messaging, the tweet should have been completely unexceptional. Except it wasnt.A few days later, she received a call from her partys press secretary, also a working mother who had seen the tweet, and thoughtfully passed on that, to parents with children in daycare who would like nothing more than to be out walking with them on a sunny Friday afternoon, an MP posting a tweet like this was not a good look.In other words, she shouldnt be seen looking like a real working mothereven by other working mothers.After hanging up the phone, she burst into sobs, and then she crafted the perfect responseWell thanks. Ill be koranvers to take that on board. Far be it from me to model the kind of flexible working arrangement that might actually encourage other mothers to see Parliament as a viable choice for them. I certainly wouldnt want to give the impression that politicians ever have any time off. Of course its beyond comprehension that I could ever take my baby with me to work, whether to the office or with me on community engagements. No one would ever assume, seeing me do something with my kid during the day, that I spend the nights catching up with emails, writing press releases and question bids, reading legislation and select committee documents, planning an election campaign, on conference calls, replying to correspondence, reviewing policy documents and peer-reviewing my colleagues work, all before I go to bed and wake 35 times per night to feed my baby, and then get up in the morning to do it all again. Never mind the fact that my partner has given up his job and worn holes in the soles of his shoes walking our baby to sleep so that I can stay in this job. Or the fact that even if I was just caring for my baby, that that alone is bloody hard work.Can we get an amen? Walkers reply hits the nail on the head Workin g mothers are almost always working. If you see us with our kids at 10 a.m., it means youll find us finishing up emails at 10 p.m.Not to mention, its totally possible to do certain types of work with a baby. When my son was just 14 weeks old, I toted him in a baby wrap to meetings. And plenty of other badass moms are living proof that babies and work can go hand in hand from the artist who breastfed her twins in tandem while typing on her laptop to the pregnant doctor who tended athletes on the sideline of a high school football game with her toddler on her backor most recently, the Australian lawmaker who made headlines for being the first woman to breastfeed her baby in Parliament.Unfortunately, in the end, Walker wasnt able to balance the demands of being a new mom and politician. There is nothing normal about crawling up the hallway, screaming and hitting yourself in the head, in front of your baby, and then pulling yourself together 10 minutes before 20 volunteers arrive at you r house so that you can train them and then lead them out to canvass the neighborhood door to door, she confesses. So she quit.Though her tale takes place in New Zealand, Im sure many American moms in elected officewould nod in understanding. After all, we know that working mothers are judged more harshly than dads on the campaign trail. Its highly doubtful that scrutiny ends when they enter office.Another big lesson learned from Walkers tale? We working moms need to go easier on each other, too. So what if one mom brings her baby to work, or another never mentions her baby at all? Lets embrace the notion that we all have different ways of approaching working motherhoodand support and celebrate each other for being hard-working heroes who somehow manage to get it all done, no matter what.--This article was originally published on Working Mother.Fairygodboss is committed to improving the workplace and lives of women.Join us by reviewing your employer